The Rapport of Poor Character
In Daniel Goleman’s recent study of Emotional Intelligence, he explores a discovery in what’s labelled the ‘Social Brain’, which encompasses the emotional functionality of our brains in social contexts, and the operation of “mirror neurons” which act like a “neural Wifi system” (Goleman, 618) in group/person to person communication. What I found fascinating in this study was the function of this part of our brain in groups under leadership.
I was sitting in a training session at work on communication and EQ (emotional intelligence), and remember the trainer observing the group of us nearly all sitting in a similar position at the meeting table as we listened to her teach. She called the moment a situation where there were obvious “rapport leaders” in the room. Rapport can be defined as a relation; connection, or especially harmonious or sympathetic relation. The social brain recognises situations where there are natural rapport leaders, and according to this discovery, the brain recognises along the diverse and mosaic networking minds that we have, that the most powerful person in the room (defined by both humility and honour, I would hope) will influence how the rest of the group feels. Yes, feel. That horrible, overly emotional word that men go no where near and women justify everything with.. (Kidding).
To clarify: the leadership is not responsible for how you feel, nor do they define it. But by grace, we’ve been blessed with being able to give and receive Love, and influence one another.
In group vision, goals and dreaming, the leadership are required to build rapport with their group. Leadership must have balance. If your character is arrogant, if your ego is dominant, if you’re unstable - cracks will show. (You didn’t see me write that anyone is perfect). There are few character traits outside of love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control, that will not create fear in relationships and in teams. I strongly understand relationships to work either fear or Faith (trust action) based. As a Christian, it is vital to evaluate who your rapport leaders are - or even what they are - and if they operate in the field of Faith or fear. Often your behaviour and response to situations will determine which you’re ‘feeding’ off, or indicate what. Outside of Christianity, if you’re in a place of leadership it’s equally important to evaluate who your rapport leaders are, and how you’re ‘feeding’ your character. In learning to be a leader, I’ve learnt that leadership is costly. You’re influencing people.
I’m determined to see people choose to soul sort, and I’m determined to see Christ’s goodness be deemed sovereignly powerful.