- Jim: I was dreaming about God.
- Mary: What did He say?
- Jim: Nothing. He was playing tennis. Perhaps that's where God is all the time and that's why you can't see Him when you're awake, do you think?
- Mary: I don't know. I don't know about God.
- Jim: Perhaps He's our dream... And we're His.
- Rachael Talbot
1Update
I haven’t been writing for a while. For a long time the quality of my life has been measured by product and quantity (I’ve just been helping a friend out with her resume - excuse the business-like language)… Consumer product index increase blah blah blah.. I’m kidding. As you can see my writing has slowly deteriorated to mere fragments of thoughts..
:) let’s start again.
For a long time the quality of my life has been measured by what I can produce. It’s been measured by what class my wisdom lies in. It’s been measured by the amount of people I can help. It’s been measured by the fruit of my life that people can see.. and stand in wonder. It’s been measured by achievements, successes, numbers, and grades. For once I’d like to stand for the nature of what’s not seen. For once I’d like to stand for the work that God is doing is me tirelessly.. All for my good, and generally for no other sight but mine. I haven’t been writing much because the work and revelation that I’m experiencing is beyond words, and beyond anyone else’s sight. My soul can rest knowing that if ink on a paper doesn’t imply that I’m capable, then the God of all creation makes everything work together for my good.
We all come to transition periods in our lives.. They come and go, beautiful and carving like the tide on the foreshore. Some unseen, some wonderfully public. But, the Truth always stands steadfast like a fortress around us, whether we succeed or whether we fall. We can trust that the Lord of glory has been working tirelessly, like the compassionate, gentle, kind, loving, radical mad scientist of all, so we can be cannonballed to reflect His light and live gloriously over all that we do. Running into co-labouring with Christ.. Running into His arms as He works for His glory in me.
2Psalm 51:10-12
Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within in,
Do not cast me from Your presence,
or take Your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me.
Day One
He was called out into the wilderness, so that the only voice he could hear was God’s.
Matt Sorger
After arriving in Bali, my brother Ben, his friend Billy and myself hop in a taxi to head to our hotel. As we’re driving through Bali, I’m caught with a heightened awareness of a place that I’ve humbled for poverty in my heart. Or rather, maybe I became aware of a place in my heart that was walled to it. As we drove through poverty-stricken streets, dens made of thick, splinter-filled wood, pieces and pieces of rubbish and cardboard barely strategically placed to call a home, I felt loss and I grieved for the owners. I grieved for the homeless. The burning begun at a set of lights in the centre of town, where a large monument sat in the middle of the round-about, poised and proud, surrounded by an unclean moat. At the bottom of the art piece, sat an elderly lady with a small bucket. She filled the bucket with water and poured it over her body, continuously. At first I was convinced it was a religious act, though at second glance she continued to do so and wash her body. We drove on.
I started puzzling together what is it that makes us insane, what it is that makes us unjust, crazy, poverty-pushers. Within the mere 40min car ride, I had noticed the intentionality of my identity in this country. The intentionality to just be. I was convinced I became alive knowing that there was no pressure to perform or conform, and knowing full well that I had kicked into missionary mode - and for someone who’s never been on a ‘mission trip’, this global heart of mine thrives when I start thinking nations. I’ve come to the conclusion that Western society has become a society heavily encouraging and promoting consumerism - though with this, we’ve taught how to consume. We’re learning how to aim, aim, aim and fire - and we know we’re good at it. America, Europe, Australia - consumerist cultures that sell their culture well. They imply they know what you need and when you need it, no matter what cultural background or heritage. Because of the push in society to conform to the consumerist and capitalist act, there’s a lack of identity outside of what it looks like to be a part of that. ‘White people’ remain white people when they go to third world countries because the countries are ill-equipped to ‘consume’ - whilst, as an example, Malaysians are coming to Australia and becoming part of an ever-growing state of traditional breakdown, constant cultural shift and a nation occupying racist multiculturalism.
It makes me angry that we walk into the doors of a hotel in Bali and turn a blind eye to the poverty right on the doorstep. It makes me angry that we see it.. We can see the poverty, the blindness, the homeless, the cripple, the least, the lonely - and choose to keep them there because we’re not making time to equip them. We’re happy to keep them believing that history shows them where they’ll end up. I wonder if they realize that Western societies are educating their children for careers that we don’t even know exist yet? I wonder if they realize that we’re being taught how to think outside the square because the square is no longer applicable for success? I wonder if we’re just completely selfish thinking that these countries can’t move with us because they’re that far behind? It makes me angry that the polite Balinese that come up to serve me in this hotel will leave to go home to their pile of wood and cheap, unprotected walls to find their children and feed them from their days earning. It makes me angry that people.. nations.. could possibly believe they’re behind - yet we’re the ones leaving it that way. I get it.
I wonder if we could teach them of God’s favour. I wonder if they would listen. I wonder if they would see heavenly living in His eyes and understand the concept of abundance. I wonder if such revival is possible that third world cultures would cease to exist..
I’m choosing to believe in it.
1“ Your perception of God will determine the quality of your religion. ”
A.W. Tozer
0Anonymous asked: Elycey poo I love you. I haven't seen you in so long and I know we've sort of grown apart. We were pretty damn close and I just wanted to say that I love you no matter what and you will always have a special place in my heart because you are one of the most inspirational and positive people I have ever met. I hope you are happy and content, wherever you are, doing what ever you are :) Thinking of you wherever you are.
Wow.. Thank you. That was lovely to read, I really appreciate that. I miss you, I miss a lot of people I was very close with. Trusting you’re well x
0His Character
Having a conversation with a friend of mine the other night after we’d been to a dinner, I made a comment that sometimes when I go to things like that, when I leave, all I know is that I either feel unsettled or at peace. I don’t even process what’s happened in the conversation at the dinner table, or what I learnt, but rather, I would just know how I feel as I leave. It led me to a revelation that sometimes we experience things purely for the purpose of learning one thing. Sometimes I’ll go places and leave feeling joy. That’s all I have to feel.. And I learn how important that is to God.
Sometimes To Him, that fruit of the Spirit is that important to Him that He will lead us places, and go on journeys all for the reason of learning of those characteristics.. Just so He can show you who He is.
Learning the simplicity of His language,
E.
0My eyes to see, my heart to know
Sometimes I sit on the kitchen bench. It was where I would often sit and chat to my mother after school, or sometimes my brother would just sit on it while we’d hang out.. Often we wouldn’t go much further than the kitchen (he makes brilliant pancakes). In this new house, I sit on the kitchen bench and stare out the window, mostly on my own. Yesterday I sat watching my best friends’ dog playing around with a ball. That goat-like creature jumped around often resorting to a defensive position because the ever so still ball was apparently, to him, something attacking him. It just sits there, with Amos bounding around it like Amos has seen its potential.
I’ve often made a mountain out of a molehill.
Nearly everyday I see something that reminds me that where I am isn’t enough. Or so, that’s how I was seeing it. I’d see things and know that God is pointing them out in my walk.. Often words, people, a conversation, a picture.. I see them all and know He is looking too, pointing. Lately it’s been my direction that I feel He’s revealing to me. When I see things, my reaction is generally the same as Amos’ with the ball. I research, I find, I discover, I look for more, I dwell on it and I think far too much. I overreact, to say the least. I would sit and wonder why He is showing me all these things and not taking me or moving me..
Sometimes sight is purely for the reason of seeing. Awareness, reminder, recognition. God is so kind..
On Wednesday night with my gospel community, we were discussing God’s Love and how we feel He shows His love to us. I realised He shows me He loves me often by reminding me He has a purpose for me. That’s what He’s been doing everyday.. The things I’m seeing are a beautiful reminder that He has a plan for me, that I have purpose, that He’s just growing me and I must simply have faith, and know that He is God. What I’ve seen hasn’t for a second been a ‘you should be here’ or a ‘why aren’t you doing this yet?’ or even a ‘this is happening but you’re not part of it ‘ from God..
Isn’t this beautiful? He says.
I love this.. Do you see? He whispers.
You’re just beginning to see with my eyes, my darling.
Being carved for beauty. His Grace precedes the call.
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